Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
