hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize