the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she looked like the before picture.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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