i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
