he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
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