I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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