Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
