taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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