a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
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