One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
