she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize