You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
