Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
