I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize