paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
