Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
