Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize