Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
