i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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