He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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