i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
