My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
