He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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