I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
