someone get that fucking seahorse.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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