Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
