I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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