I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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