we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
no. you can't hotbox the world.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
