he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
