That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
