No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
