STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
