was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
