It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
