her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
