you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
