I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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