Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
