come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You may now shotgun with the bride
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
