Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Randomize
