She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
