how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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