I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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