party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
