Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
