oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
