I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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