i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
