Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
pray to the hookup gods
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
