I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
