Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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