Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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