Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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