Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
