The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
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