absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize