That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
