i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
