I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
