Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
