Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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