That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize