You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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