apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
