do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
