Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
