He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize