I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
