the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
